Date Night at Aventura

The stars aligned this weekend. My in-laws are visiting and it was Valentine's Day, so I got everything I wanted: A dozen red roses, free babysitting, a love letter, and a perfect romantic date with Juan at Aventura.

We chose the Valentine's Day five course menu and loved every bite. I forgot to take a picture of the first course because we dove right in! For the fourth course, below, I chose a caramelized onion tartelet and Juan chose lamb sweet bread. I also snapped a picture of our desserts, ricotta cheesecake and a potato nut spice cake - both fabulous.

The ambience at Aventura is really special, which you already know if you've been. It was so nice to go to the kind of restaurant we used to go to and talk, just the two of us, with a glass of latúe that a certain little person isn't begging to taste. I was also excited to wear normal clothes and feel like myself, not just Mama. I wore my Madewell Skinny Skinny jeans that fit perfectly, a silk Tucker blouse, my gold monogram necklace, and a Tory Burch handbag I bought a few years ago when such splurges made sense in my life. It was a refreshing change from my mom uniform of yoga pants, no jewelry for little hands to pull, and a diaper bag.

This year the Valentine's Day menu was $50 per person including tax and gratuity. I consider that a good deal for five courses (tapas add up quickly), and we left full and happy. Wine tasting with each course was optional at $25 per person.

How did you celebrate Valentine's Day? Did you dine out or prepare something special at home? I'd love to hear!

Raising Kids and High-Energy Dogs

Once upon a time, our family was just me, Juan, Buster, and Ziggy Stardust. Juan and I always knew we wanted dogs first and kids eventually. We're pretty high-energy people ourselves (well, me less so since we had a baby), and we chose Border Collies. Okay, I chose Border Collies and I talked Juan into it. To be fair, he didn't put up much resistance.

Humblebrag: We're pretty good dog parents. I took Buster to a Border Collie training expert for classes and individual training sessions as a puppy. We have always run with the dogs regularly, we never leave them outside unsupervised, and we take them with us whenever we can: Hiking and to restaurants with outdoor seating in the warmer months. (We've even taken them out to eat with us in the winter when it was below freezing with our heavy coats on, because we're kind of crazy like that.) On a vacation to the mountains when we had to leave the dogs at home, we visited multiple pet stores to buy presents for them because we felt so guilty without them. We're so obsessed with our dogs, I commissioned a watercolor painting of Buster and Ziggy three years ago as Juan's Christmas present. It perfectly captures their insanity personalities:

And they are kind of insane. This isn't a criticism, it's just a fact. Border Collies were bred to be maniacs. Look at this face:

That is a face of a dog who has broken out of his crate without opening the door on more than one occasion. He is a magician, or maybe he made a deal with the devil. Despite the insanity, when we decided to have a baby, we weren't worried about raising a baby with Border Collies. This isn't to say that it's easy to raise kids and high-energy dogs, but rather that we had prepared our dogs and ourselves and managed our expectations. Here's what we did, after the jump...

What's Your Parenting Motto?

I tend towards high strung, so during my pregnancy with Luisa, I focused on positive thinking...not just for the birth, but for parenting later on. I could imagine how easy it would be to get caught up in a whirlwind of anxious thoughts: What's wrong? Is it because she didn't nap long enough? Is it because she's teething? Is it because that 1/8 teaspoon of avocado that actually made it down her esophagus is giving her indigestion?

So, I came up with a phrase I could say to myself over and over, my baby motto: Babies be babies. Sometimes they cry for no reason, or they need to nurse all day long, or they won't sleep, or in newborn Luisa's case, they sleep all the time (don't be too jealous, it created other problems). Whenever I was struggling as a new mom, I said to myself, "Babies be babies," and didn't overthink it. It allowed me to do what I had to do to meet her needs without worrying. Who cares if she's teething or not? Being a baby is reason enough for behavior that doesn't make sense, because babies don't make sense.

In the last couple of weeks, Luisa has become a full-on toddler. I still tell her she's my baby, but she sure acts like a two-year-old all of a sudden (her birthday is coming up). I have a toddler motto now: She's struggling more than I am. When she's crying because she wants to undo her own buttons, yet can't figure it out herself, and won't let me help because that would be the worst thing ever... When she refuses to put on her mittens to play in the snow, and cries because we're leaving as a consequence... When she wants something else to eat, yet can't figure out what... She's more frustrated than I am.

I haven't quite found my peace with this new phase, but it helps to turn on teacher mode (I was a teacher and then a counselor in what seems like a past life). I'm a bit rusty after mothering a baby. Babies' wants ARE their needs, and you never need to be in teacher mode; you exist in mama mode 24/7, seemingly forever. Teacher mode is sort of like channeling an alpha dog's or a CEO's energy: calm, quiet, and in charge, with a commanding presence. I'm sure parenting a toddler will put me back into practice in no time. :)

What's your parenting motto? If your kids are older, how many parenting mottos have you had as they change? ;) I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Grown-up Evenings

Confession: We didn't sleep train Luisa until she was nearly a year and a half old, late last summer. We might have done it a few months sooner, but we spent several months traveling during our long, drawn-out move from Korea to Ann Arbor, and it was too much upheaval in her little life as it was. Truthfully, even I didn't feel ready until last summer. I needed to have her close to me for breastfeeding and comfort, which I think is a normal - and fleeting! - part of motherhood. It was so sweet to hold her in her sleep and kiss her fat baby cheeks.

Since Luisa started sleeping in her own room, I have so much free time in the evenings to hang out and have my own life again (within range of the video monitor). This fall, Juan and I loved lighting a fire in the fire pit in our backyard and enjoying beer and s'mores with our neighbors and friends, or even just with each other. Now that it's winter, I like to make a cup of tea and cozy up with Juan on the couch. Sometimes we sit next to each other while we work, and on good nights, we watch a TV show together (House of Cards, right now). I plan to enjoy my evenings with a glass of rosé on our screened-in porch in the summer.

Much like enjoying all four seasons in Michigan, I'm enjoying all these phases of life. It's so satisfying to mother an infant in the way that comes most naturally to both of you, and then for both you and your baby to slowly gain independence from one another.

When did your kids start sleeping in their own rooms? What are your favorite evening rituals once they're in bed? Spill it in the comments!

Guide to Maternity Clothes

When I was newly pregnant, I felt totally lost when it came to maternity clothing. It was so overwhelming, especially with my changing body image! You know how you think everyone else's baby belly is cute? You probably won't think yours is cute at all (but it will be, trust me). I hated my belly in all but two outfits at a time. In fact, I have fewer than five full-length photos of me pregnant. What flattered my 30-week belly somehow made me look frumpy at 32 weeks.

It's also rare to try on maternity clothing before you buy, so you are truly taking a shot in the dark. A lot of stores only offer maternity clothing online, or have limited in-store selection; other maternity clothing boutiques only exist online. Sizing also stressed me out way more than it should have. Every brand advises to order your prepregnancy size, which of course differs brand to brand, so how are you supposed to know your size in a brand that doesn't sell non-maternity clothing?

A word about cost. I thought about it way too much, because clearly I am obsessed with finding deals on the best things, and you won't wear maternity clothing forever (hopefully ;). I realized that if I have more than one child, I'd have to wear maternity clothing for quite a while. I decided to invest in some nice, not-too-trendy clothing that I'd love to wear for more than one pregnancy.

Since it's so hard to navigate and to find maternity fashion advice, I'd love to share my maternity fashion finds...

Seraphine is like Shopbop for pregnant women. They make the most gorgeous dresses, and sale prices are reasonable. Catherine Middleton was spotted wearing Seraphine during both of her pregnancies, and those styles sold out quickly! I bought this wrap dress and wore it all the time. I also wore this sweater coat every single day (see photo at the top). I always felt beautiful and put-together when I wore Seraphine.

I also love Ingrid & Isabel, but they don't have sales often. Gilt has the best prices when they have a flash sale; look in the kids' section for maternity and nursing clothing. Like Seraphine, Ingrid & Isabel makes beautiful, stylish dresses. I especially love their maternity workout pants, which you can wear even when you're not pregnant (just fold down the belly panel, which holds in your mommy tummy). Maternity workout pants are unbelievably hard to find, and I highly recommend Ingrid & Isabel's.

Maternity (non-workout) pants are tricky. I preferred pants with two triangular stretch panels at the hips instead of pants with belly panels. My favorite jeans were J Brand, which I bought on sale from a boutique that has since closed, but Amazon has a few styles. My favorite work pants were the J.Crew maternity Minnie pant (see above photo). In J Brand, J.Crew, and Gap, I had to size down in all maternity pants.

I wore Gap's maternity basics constantly. I especially loved their tank top, tights, and panties. Word to the wise: Buy maternity panties so that you don't stretch out your nice ones. I didn't want to splurge on leggings and workout tank tops, so I bought them from Old Navy and was happy. Old Navy and Gap both have sales and discount codes frequently, so wait for a promotion and don't pay full price.

Finally, Hatch is the holy grail of maternity clothing. Expecting celebrities are spotted wearing Hatch all the time. I splurged on a few things on clearance on Gilt, which were still way over budget, but I justified the cost by factoring cost-per-wear. I wore my red shirt dress every week and felt beautiful and glowing in my dinner party dress at a ball:

What did you love wearing during your pregnancy? I'd love to hear!