Once upon a time, our family was just me, Juan, Buster, and Ziggy Stardust. Juan and I always knew we wanted dogs first and kids eventually. We're pretty high-energy people ourselves (well, me less so since we had a baby), and we chose Border Collies. Okay, I chose Border Collies and I talked Juan into it. To be fair, he didn't put up much resistance.
Humblebrag: We're pretty good dog parents. I took Buster to a Border Collie training expert for classes and individual training sessions as a puppy. We have always run with the dogs regularly, we never leave them outside unsupervised, and we take them with us whenever we can: Hiking and to restaurants with outdoor seating in the warmer months. (We've even taken them out to eat with us in the winter when it was below freezing with our heavy coats on, because we're kind of crazy like that.) On a vacation to the mountains when we had to leave the dogs at home, we visited multiple pet stores to buy presents for them because we felt so guilty without them. We're so obsessed with our dogs, I commissioned a watercolor painting of Buster and Ziggy three years ago as Juan's Christmas present. It perfectly captures their
And they are kind of insane. This isn't a criticism, it's just a fact. Border Collies were bred to be maniacs. Look at this face:
That is a face of a dog who has broken out of his crate without opening the door on more than one occasion. He is a magician, or maybe he made a deal with the devil. Despite the insanity, when we decided to have a baby, we weren't worried about raising a baby with Border Collies. This isn't to say that it's easy to raise kids and high-energy dogs, but rather that we had prepared our dogs and ourselves and managed our expectations. Here's what we did, after the jump...
We socialized the dogs with babies and children as soon as possible. Buster was born loving babies and small children, but his exuberance was overwhelming. He would run up to them like the ball of energy he is, which of course scared them, so I trained him to be extra submissive with kids. Due to consistency on my part and thanks to the patience of friends with babies, Buster reliably sits and slowly scoots forward to greet children (so cute), instead of running up to them. If they reach out to pet him, he usually rolls over onto his back. If you adopt a puppy, know that puppyhood is a crucial time for socializing your dog with adults and children alike.
We watch the dogs and children closely. Whenever Buster and Ziggy are around children, I have always kept a close eye - not just to monitor the dogs' behavior, but also to make sure that the children don't provoke the dogs. It's important to me to prevent negative interactions so that my dogs don't become afraid of children, which would have made raising a baby with dogs much more difficult. Ziggy in particular is less secure around toddlers, so I make sure he's allowed to keep his space and feels comfortable. (He's a rockstar with bigger kids, though. :)
We keep them out of situations where they won't be successful. If I know Buster and Ziggy won't be able to follow the rules, that's my fault for not preparing them, so I don't allow that situation to happen. For example, we always take them to the park with us, but we didn't take them to a potluck at a park last fall. I knew that the food would be way too accessible to them and that Juan and I would be so busy controlling them that we wouldn't have any fun or be able to keep an eye on Luisa. Similarly, I crate them at home when we're preparing food and eating because it's too hard to watch Luisa and the dogs and cook all at the same time. This also ensures that she doesn't give them her food when I'm not looking, which could be dangerous or even deadly for them. Before I let them out of their crates, I put away all the food and clean up any of Luisa's toys that they might be tempted to chew on. I read Ziggy's cues and put him back into his crate where he feels safe if he's overwhelmed by Luisa.
We constantly reinforce basic dog training concepts around children. It makes a world of difference to make your dog sit and stay regularly while your child plays and runs past them. I also like to practice making them wait for my release before they go towards something they want, like a toy or even a stick Luisa wants to give them (see below). That said, I am still working on the dogs' awareness of small children around them. They have not yet learned to check for Luisa behind them before they back up or whip around. Right now my approach is to crate them if they knock her down to show them that they have to respect her space, not the other way around. A child raising/dog training win today: Luisa came downstairs this morning and told Buster "Platz" (down) with the same hand motion that I always use! My heart swelled with pride.
We teach our children to respect and love the dogs as members of the family. The dogs may have to respect Luisa's space, but Luisa also has a responsibility to respect the dogs. As soon as she started reaching out to pet them, we guided her hand and showed her how to pet them gently. I talk to Luisa frequently about how much we love the dogs and how sweet they are, and I encourage her to hug Buster, who is always eager for the attention. I also show her how much I love the dogs myself by being affectionate with them (plus, this way they don't feel neglected). As a result, she LOVES the dogs and is comfortable around them. She always says goodnight to them at bedtime (which was her idea in the first place!), excitedly points to them every time we read a book with the slightest mention of a dog, brings them the good sticks when we're playing in the backyard, and loves to throw balls for Ziggy to fetch.
We read as much as we could in advance. Nothing beats hands-on experience, but the experience goes more smoothly if you have an idea of what you should be doing. I recommend the book Raising Puppies and Kids Together. (It is somewhat hard to find; that's a link to the Kindle edition.) The book focuses mostly on raising a puppy once you already have kids, but there is a large section on preparing your dog for a new baby that we found helpful. We also read a lot of breed-specific information about Border Collies with kids, which I especially recommend if you have or are considering a herding dog.
We had realistic expectations for what the first year or so of our baby's life would be like for our dogs. I knew that I wouldn't be able to run with Buster and Ziggy for at least six weeks, and that it might be even longer before I actually ran with them regularly again (it was way longer than I'd like to admit). To compensate somewhat, I let the dogs out of their crates in our home as much as possible so that they didn't feel so cooped up. Believe it or not (and you might not, if you know my dogs), they were always happy to nap in the same room as me and Luisa. Juan pitched in by running sprints with them when he got home from work until I finally found a routine that worked with a baby and dogs. I also knew that even though the dogs loved babies, they weren't used to living with one and would need extra attention and forgiveness. They are sensitive creatures, too!
Finally, now that Luisa is less of a baby and turning into a little kid before our eyes, I remember that it's not always going to be easy or look perfect. The dogs will accidentally knock her down occasionally, and sometimes they will publicly embarrass me. This is why we run: Tired dogs are good dogs, ready to listen to your commands and follow through. Except when that squirrel is taunting them. :) For my part, a tired mom is a relaxed mom, able to let it go when Buster barks at that squirrel.
P.S. This picture by Not to Standard made me laugh. It pretty much sums up my life:
P.P.S. Please adopt, even if you have your heart set on a certain dog breed! We adopted Ziggy from Phoenix Rising Border Collie Rescue in South Carolina, and Midwest Border Collie Rescue is also very active.
(Photos of me, Juan, and the dogs and of newborn Luisa by Kaleigh M Tully Photography; watercolor painting of Buster and Ziggy by Caitlyn Brunson; photo of Buster running by Stephanie Bruce; other photos by me)
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